Worst Beauty Trends

Ran across a charming article titled  '15 Worst Beauty trends Over Time" by Violet Owens
at a website called www.youbeauty.com.

I'm hardly the one entitled to comment about what is and isn't a good trend and what is and isn't fashion. But, in honor of my clothes horse mother the Sun-Venus Sadge who had impeccable good taste and in honor of all those boring hours where I sat watching her put together outfits I am going to devote this post to her.  Myself, I am slob, hear me roar.  With the Gemini Rising and the Aquarius MC I sort of can't really pull together much of a look except for those themed parties with the word "weird" in them.

Venus, of course, represents beauty.  Through Taurus rulership she rules sensuality, materialism, attachment to possessions.  Through Libra she represents Harmony and Love.  So Venus is definitely our Girl to look at here.

Jupiter also represents trends.  Fashion is a major outlet for women to express their opinions.  Besides, Jupiter takes about a year to pass through a sign which is just enough time to seek, hunt, adore and toss out all new ideas.  Jupiter also tends to have good taste because it will compete for what is best.  I say that because my Mother was a Sagittarian and she had good taste.

Either way, fashion trends do seem to often change on a yearly basis. I remember when Jupiter was in Pisces (feet) and all the knitters were obsessed with making socks.  Jupiter rolled into Aries (head) and People were having major hat crazies.  Jupiter moved into Taurus (neck) and huge cowls became the craze.  There usually is some sort of connection it seems. Right now Jupiter's in Gemini.  Arms and Hands.  Sleeves and mittens?  I just bought a sweater with really amazing lace forearms. It's as if the new trend is a great way for people to bond and see what kinds of new ideas can be created.

The planet I think as most representing the trends is Uranus. This is because a long time ago I took a class on Stock Market trading and the teacher said a good investment policy is to remember that "The Trend is Your Friend."  And at the time I thought, wow, Uranus.  Get it?  Trend. Friend.  Trend.  Friend.

Uranus is connected with futuristic thinking and equality among people and lots of good things that espouse fine design. Or at least designs that will fly right out of the stores after being hung up on the rack. Uranus likes to create new circulatory systems. 

But, this article is about when the ugly becomes popular, sort of time warp clogs in the fashion industry, and we are stuck 5 years down the road looking at old photos and wondering wtf and how many people have a copy of this photo?

The article mentions that Beauty is often connected with Hair, Skin, Eyes.  That leaves out Tits, Legs and Ass which are the traditional indicators of beauty.  It also means that the writer is probably pretty young and unaware of the Shoulder Pads of the 80s because she doesn't mention them.  They ought to be a Taurus thing but are maybe connected to the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Libra and the women's lib thing and the thing where there was a shortage of talented fashion designers due to the AIDS thing.  I remember all the large women in the financial district running to the office from the bus, dolled up like linebackers.  It was San Francisco so maybe they weren't really women, come to think of it.  That was the era when everyone would wear running shoes until they got to the office so they really were running.  And the suits were all jewel tones so they were highly visible. How the West was really won.  And scary?  Yes ma'am.  (An in joke with
my gang stalkers there, you don't have to get it.).  Either way, it was a compensation for not being able to ever have anonymous sex again ever.

Hair, Skin and Eyes.  This means that a lot of the fashion gaffes noticed by this writer are in the areas ruled by Saturn.  Hair and Skin is ruled by Saturn. Saturn is a weird contributor to design.  He sort of rules it in a way because his affinity with structure and building and rhythm is essential for all good design.  Problem is, he's doudy and conformist and likes tried and true. He's repressed and worried about what the neighbors will say.  Or he's chagrined.Capricorns always look nice.  They have to.  Michelle Obama is a Capricorn and she's rockin the trends so see how much I know. But she is currently married to the President of the United States and is living in the White House so one can see the Capricorn influence in there.

Also, Hair, when it's big, is ruled by Sun.  Jupiter likes Big.  Eyes are ruled by Sun and Moon.  Sun rules the right eye in a man, left in a woman.  Moon rules the Left Eye, in a man, right in a woman.Rulership of the eyes is always too confusing to think about.  They are the windows to the soul and who knows what rules that?  (Neptune?)

After looking at the bad fashion trends listed in the article it does seem as if bad fashion trends seem somehow associated with Saturn.  Especially when Saturn touches another slow moving transit during a particular year.  Saturn rules solid structure so is related to the design process.  Bad fashion trends do seem to look like Saturn trying to have a lot of fun, or trying to get along with the rest of the planets who are running around all out of control.  Sort of like the weird animal that my Iliad teacher said he saw while on Safari in Africa.  One of his fellow hunters said that its parts were so lopsided and out of proportion that it could have only been birthed by a committee.

Both Saturn and Uranus are associated with 7 year cycles.  Saturn squares itself every seven years and Uranus changes signs approximately every 7 years.  So maybe super bad trends take seven years to get over.  I know fashion came back when the Gays did.

Astrologically, It appears that sometimes Venus will show what will be popular in two ways.  In a year when she is traveling slowly one can sometimes see a fashion influence in the sign that Venus retrogrades in.  Or, in the years when Venus is traveling quickly and doesn't Retrograde, the trends will often be shown through the signs which she passes through twice during the year. 

Okay, article says bad fashion trends and years they are most associated with:

1953: Serious Tans, skin is Saturn.  Color is for darkness, warmth, health

Sun - sunbathing

Saturn - skin

mars - burning

Saturn was passing over the Libra-Scorpio cusp. Saturn c. Neptune in Libra, Saturn square Uranus in Cancer,, Neptune in Libra sextile Pluto Leo, Chiron Capricorn, NN Aquarius-Capricorn.  None of this makes sense to me.  Just looks like a Pluto in Leo thing overall.  Power in the Sun...  Obviously people were feeling okay with running around without their clothes on at the beach so this could be a Lightheared Uranus thing.  Or with the Saturn-Neptune conjunction in Libra maybe they were dealing with feelings of depression by getting out into the Sun.  Since we're looking for the way this is a bad fashion trend this indicates an overcompensation thing, so maybe depression is the reason.

Venus was Rx in Spring over the Taurus-Aries cusp, , wide conjunction of Venus to Mars in Leo in September.  So Venus having contact with Fire Signs and planets might show a desire for warmth.


1960: Beehive, hair style, high above the head. 

Hair:  Saturn.
High:  Maybe Saturnian, 10th house thing, especially working against gravity, Maybe Neptunian higher chakra thing.

Jupiter was moving over Sagittarius-Capricorn cusp in conjunction with Saturn in Capricorn. Jupiter exaggerates whatever it touches and it's moving over the signs which indicate the tippy top of the wheel.

Uranus was at the end of Leo which makes sense for a new and unusual and innovative big hair trend that requires much help from others in order to achieve.

Venus had no retrogrades in 1960 and was in the signs of Aquarius and Capricorn twice. So Venus was in conjunction with Jupiter and Saturn in Capricorn twice that year which gives a lot of credence to what I said about Jupiter.  Again. Aquarius and Capricorn repeat the stuff already said.


1965: False Eyelashes, This is currently the trend as well so must be a Saturn-Uranus-Pluto square thing.  Stop people from looking you in the eyes by placing weird shit all around the edges.  No windows to the soul here, just lots of fur around the edges.

1965 year started with grand earth trine between Jupiter-Sun-Pluto.  That sounds like a lot of fun.  Everyone was feeling Groovy. Sun rules right eye, so maybe it was always the eyelash from the left eye which fell into the martini glass.

Mars Rx in Virgo over Uranus-Pluto conjunction in Virgo. That shows a revolutionary influence, technology involved.  Craftsmanship needed for precision placement of glue otherwise the drop into the proverbial other end of the pole, Neptunian martini.

No Venus Rx that year so Venus moving fast through signs. Was in Sagittarius, Capricorn, and Aquarius twice during that year. Venus conjunct Mars in Sagittarius in October. Yes, this year was Groovy, Baby.


1972. Blue eyeshadow. What is she talking about?  This was only a bad trend in old women.  And trust me I have a story to tell in this regard, but won't.

Eyes:  Sun and Moon.

Color:  Jupiter-Neptune rules versions of blue, there was a conjunction of Jupiter-Neptune in Sagittarius

Venus Rx in Cancer conjunct Mars.Cancer is water.  Watery eyes. The psychologists were all starting to tell all the men to cry at that point.  Everyone so sensitive (and social drinking was on the verge of becoming epidemic alcoholism).


1974 The Mullet.

hair styles:  Saturn.  Leo.

Article calls the Mullet:  "Business in the front, party in the back" Saturn in Cancer square Pluto in Libra, designed by a committee

Year starts with a Venus-Jupiter conjunction in Aquarius. Venus Rx in Aquarius back to Capricorn so the Venus-Jupiter thing lasted a long time.  Funny how this hair style was so popular with Rock Stars and Truckers.  And later on Bulimics, for totally practical reasons.


1983. Big Hair, have to look for Leo.  What's wrong with big hair?  Well, anything having to do with Leo is probably too much too soon and too full of ones big fun self.

Venus Rx from Virgo back to Leo.  Some sort of stuckedness on big hair.

Saturn passing over Libra-Scorpio cusp same as 1953 Big Tan. This was just after the Saturn-Pluto conjunction in Libra. Is Libra a co-ruler of hair?

Jupiter conjunct Uranus in Sagittarius indicates larger than life.  Those two working together?  Oh yeah, that's when blow dryers came in.  That's when the screeners at the airport had to check to learn how to discern a gun from a hair blower.  Im looking for Jupiter-Uranus connections...

Pluto moves into Scorpio at the end of the year so gaining personal power has something to do with it.


The Perm- ca. 1983. More big hair.

Technology brings less maintenance. Uranus in Sagittarius like ready to wear and low maintenance.

Venus Rx Virgo to Leo.  Still looking for personal beauty through the hair thing. 


Crimped Hair ca. 1985,

Venus Rx in Aries.  Using a heating implement.  Aries indicates head.  Aries should be piercings or something.

Jupiter in Aquarius, Uranus in Sagittarius. Looking for new toys to make new looks with.

Saturn in Scorpio until November, moves into Sagittarius.  Enough with the hair trends already, Exhausted end of sign stuff.


Over plucked eyebrows, ca 1992.

No Venus Rx, Venus in Capricorn twice so in conjunction with Uranus-Neptune conjunction in Capricorn twice. Controlled look.

or Jupiter in Virgo shows compulsive plucking.

Or Pluto in Scorpio also indicates compulsive needs as well.


Super Matte makeup, skin (Saturn, Capricorn). 1993.

Venus Rx in Aries square Uranus conjunction Neptune in Capricorn.

 Jupiter in Libra, Saturn in Aquarius.

All I can think is that nothing was in water signs which indicates the look is dry. 


Dark Lip Liner/ with Light Lipstick. 1999.

Pluto in Sagittarius showing influence from other cultures.

Venus Rx in Virgo-Leo. This seems to come up a lot in years where there's a bad fashion trend.

Jupiter conjunct Saturn in Taurus, sensuality?


Sun in, blond streaks in hair. 2000.  Hair, Saturn/Capricorn.  Sun/Leo. 

no Venus Rx. Venus in Capricorn-Aquarius twice that year conjunct Uranus-Neptune in Aquarius.

Jupiter c. Saturn in Taurus.

I don't even remember this one, the Jupiter-Saturn conjunction was in my 12th house.


Hair extensions, technology Aquarius, introduced by African American popular, made popular by Aquarius Paris Hilton.  Didn't write down the year.  Looks like a Jupiter-Uranus thing but didn't look it up.

Spray Tans 2009.  Saturn and Sun and Mars.

Venus Rx in Aries.  Trying to look for an alternative to melanoma at this point.  Looking hot without the heat.  Or I guess many women looked orange and streaked.

Jupiter in Aquarius c. Neptune in Aquarius suggests Aerosols.

Saturn in Virgo, makes one want to go to a salon to do it.

Uranus in Pisces, poisonous technologies.

Pluto moves into Capricorn. Power through skin color


Vajazzling 2010,  Okay, nobody actually did this did they?  It's where that actress whats her name went on the TV talk show and told everyone she did it but maybe that was all an act.  The tattoo thing started back in the 80s didn't it?  But tattoos aren't on the list, but they will be once all these guys skin begin to sag. 

We're looking for private parts.  That's the Pluto.

Pluto in Capricorn, adorning the power center. Top o the heap. bad sex.

Okay, here it is:  Venus Rx in Scorpio conjunct Mars in Scorpio. Jupiter in Pisces. Saturn in Libra. Uranus in Pisces, Neptune in Aquarius.

 Hit the publish button already.