Out the Comet's Ass

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Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Saturn Opposes Itself in Virgo

Here's a Saturn in Virgo sentiment, article called "Healthy Habits Can Mean 14 Extra Years": http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/01/08/nhealth108.xml.

A research study has just been completed in England that says that if a person develops 4 obvious lifestyle changes he/she will tack on 14 years to his/her life. That's half a spin around the Saturn Cycle worth of extra living. It totally figures that this would come out while Saturn is in Virgo. Saturn, of course, is the TaskMaster of the Zodiac so it's no wonder that so many people fail to follow these simple rules.

Problem with this study is, look at what you have to do:

1. Snuff out the ciggies.
2. Eat Fruits & Veggies.
3. Hoof it: no elevator, no car.
4. Booze in moderation.

Good Virgonian oxymoron lifestyle stuff. Only a Virgo can do it. And that's just because they're allergic to everything and have to do it. At least we can have a drink every once in a while. We can receive a beer through our IV once a week.

"We didn't ask these people to do anything exceptional." says researcher Kay-Tee Khaw. Ha! That right there is where the research falls apart. This researcher evidently doesn't have a clue about the addictive allure of drinking or smoking let alone the pleasure of sneaking Hostess Cupcakes. 14 years of counting statistics evidently addles the brain.

I guess they didn't allow Heroin addicts into the research, that would have spun the Saturn cycle all the way around into Pisces. Well, according to this research that would spin the Cycle backwards 14 years. And you will notice that the study was begun back in the mid-90s right around the time that Saturn was ravaging Pisces. I've been told that Music conductors live longer than everyone else just because they wave their hands over their heads so much, enjoy their work, and are appreciated by other people. That sounds like a good approach to me. Where does Saturn have to be in order for that research to be published? Horrors, Leo is 26 years away!

The worst part about this research is that the guy is just so totally right, that's so Virgo. But, so what? This means that my parents would have lived to be 70 and 75. 14 more years of them complaining about how bored they are because they can't smoke or drink.

At least fruits and vegetables are pretty colors.

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Blogger Aura said...

You're hilarious, I nearly fell off my chair laughing at this article.

I'm an Astrologer, and I'm putting you in my blogroll. It would be great if you return the favor. Either way, keep it up!


10:34 AM  
Blogger Out the Comet's Ass said...

Glad you laughed Aura. I'll check out your blog. If you read this could you please tell me how to add a blogroll? I tried once again this week to figure it out, but, duh...

12:59 PM  

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