The 12 Cartoonists of the Apolcalypse

Gadzooks, Batman! Jihad can't take a joke. Can't we just send some more Coca Cola out to the Arabs? They are seriously dehydrated if they really are putting out hits on cartoonists. Dudes, just brush it off. Please? Pretty please?

Jihad, I know you like folks who have good manners, so please? With Sugar on Top? It's a joke. It doesn't matter. Muhammad himself is probably freshly hydrated because he doesn't have to live in the desert anymore and he's probably laughed it off himself by now. Come on guys, it's the Saturn-Uranus-Pluto t-square. Life is difficult. We really don't need to circle back to the 1930s. Let's spiral out to something good like a DNA coil.

So now we have Jihad Jane killing the Cartoonists. It started on Sept. 30, 2005 when a Danish newspaper published 12 insulting cartoons of Muhammad. The Danes are cool. They were just having a moment.

So, now Jihad hired our Jane, American Blond Blue eyed Internet Sensation to kill a guy who drew a picture of Muhammad as a dog and now they want to end the world in nuclear catastrophe. Of course, that's not funny, the picture of Muhammad. I don't have an opinion about Muhammad, but I definitely like dogs and wouldn't want to see one in pain.

Also, it turns out, Jihad, or whatever their name is, hired a bunch of people from their outpost in Ireland. Hey, stay the Fuck out of Ireland, Assholes. That's my ancestors. My Irish Grandmother? I remember her telling us to deal with verbal assaults with the phrase "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me." Learn a lesson here from the old lady. Of course she drank a lot and never really felt the pain and was as verbally abusive as they come .... but that's another story.

Lighten up here. We're playing with some seriously ugly energies and it's all for nothing. As I said, wherever Muhammad is, he's refreshed and I'm pretty certain he does not want this poo. We can do better.

What's super interesting is that my Irish Grandmother was a Gemini. So is Lars Vilks who Jihad Jane was going to kill just as soon as she could get around to it. Jane is also a Gemini. Isn't that weird? This is a Gemini Story in a way.

Geminis don't get along. Personally I can tell you, I have the rising sign, and they drive me nuts. Although my Gemini Grandmother was my idol and my Gemini Cat was the only best friend I've ever had. (Maybe I should draw a picture of Muhammad as a Burmese Cat. If Jihad gets upset over that then they are absolutely hopeless, because Burmese Cats are the highest spiritual beings on the planet.)

I've been told that the Aryan Invasion left us with some platinum blond Jews, so I can see where Jihad Jane might be coming from, or not. Wait, she was pro-Muslim, so anti-Jew, and apparently anti-Swede and anti-Dane. Kind of weird that she had recently moved to Pennsylvania Dutch land, huh? Maybe the Amish are involved.

Jihad Jane
Colleen La Rose
b. June 5, 1963 Michigan

Lars Vilks
b. June 20, 1946 Helsingborg, Sweden

Both Gemini Suns, both born with Mars within a degree conjunction of each other at 1-2 Virgo. Jane's Mars is conjunct Pluto to the degree and is caught up in a t-square with Uranus, Sun and Chiron. Did I really need to say that or was it just so obvious you're rolling your eyes.

My boyfriend Lars, who just can't keep his fingers to himself was born during a conjunction of Jupiter, Chiron and Neptune in Libra which has been mirrored in the recent sky in the sign of Aquarius. Let Freedom ring, baby. Try to stay alive, Lars. Take some drawing classes, for Christ's sakes, your bad draftsmanship is upsetting the Persians. No wonder Ikea wouldn't hire you.