Out the Comet's Ass

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Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Celebrities Who Need Makeovers

Found an article with a list of celebrities who need makeovers and am wondering what might indicate that you're looking a little set in your ways.

Article is here: http://www.beautyriot.com/makeup-beauty/celebrities-need-makeunders-g6941

Will try to hone down what I look for in the charts or I'll be here all day. These guys are all so beautiful no matter what it's just sort of fun for those of us lesser beings to see that they need an up-do. Courteney Cox didn't get a great photo-shop job. Her new suggested styling makes her chin stick out because of it but I sort of like it. The rest look pretty good. Oh yeah, what they did to Jennifer Aniston is pretty bad. The bleached blond thang. I don't see that happening.

Ascendant - physical looks
Sun - Vitality, maybe showing loss of
See if the current t-square on the Cardinal Cross has hit these Celebrities pretty hard, that's enough to let rigor set in.
Venus - cause that what makes you think about wanting to be pretty.
Neptune - has been in conjunction with Chiron which can be debilitating. Neptune rules Film, TV, and that inexplicable allure.
Uranus - because that shows whether you are falling behind in the trends. "The Trends are Your Friends."
and, as usual,
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto. Sex, Death, Taxes, feelings of personal power.

Okay, the list is already too long.

All the article does is give the celebs some ideas for a new haircut so, hate to say it, that's bringing in Mars and Saturn and Leo.

At this point the only thing we've left out are Mercury and Jupiter and from my knitting website obsession it's almost impossible to leave these two out when talking about Style. Because these planets will work to invent a new "It" factor.

Okay so I'm not into all this work. Venus equals fashion, but it also equals laziness. I'm just going to try to look at the charts superficially and blah, blah, blah.

Lindsay Lohan. She's sort of turned the wrong side of Neptune. What used to give her success in film acting has gone in to jail time and drugs. Well, maybe a hair cut is all she really needs. Oops, maybe not. With Venus in Leo she needs Big Hair or she won't feel powerful. On the other hand, maybe she expects to have everything handed to her on a silver platter. Lindsay's progressed Sun has just passed into Leo (about 3 years ago) so she'll going through a big attitude adjustment of sorts. And she needs to keep her mane. She might prefer a leadership role once she sobers up. With Sun in Cancer and Moon in Taurus Lindsay's probably pretty conservative. She will get her act together if she gets married and has kids. Unfortunately, it's a big difficult to put that foot down first whilst in rehab. Or, is it? Princess Diana got married to a Prince and sort of turned the House of Windsor into a prison sentence. We Cancer women, we can make do with so little, after all.

Okay, enough about Lindsay. Oh yeah, Sun opposing Mars and Neptune, a little anger management thing that's hard to get hold of? Got hit big time by the Eclipses this year, so yeah, there's the rigormortus connection. Mars in Capricorn needs to work. Progressed Mercury has gone Rx around 1991-92 in Leo. It will station direct around 2016. She feels like she's faking it.

Demi Moore. Oh she's beautiful but yeah she's got to lay off the straightening iron. Pretty good if you're pushing 50 and that's all the experts can suggest. Another Taurus Moon here. Gorgeous women. Demi's doing the family thing, although it's pretty weird. She's a Scorpio with Sun conjunct Venus Rx and Neptune. So, no wonder the stylists couldn't figure out how to upgrade her too much. But, Scorpio likes to make a change. Scorpio likes the crisis. I remember how my double Scorpio roommate took me out and got me drunk after I got a haircut that made me look like Caligula. Then she told that's why she keeps her hair long.

Demi's got a Jupiter opposition to Uranus-Pluto which has been mirrored in the sky lately, so maybe that's what's making her seem suspended in motion. No big Cardinal Sign problems, except that her Progressed Sun is in stodgy Capricorn. That's not bad for a 50 year old woman, actually it's great. What could be the drag is that her progressed Asc has just switched to Gemini and MC to Aquarius so people are going to respond to her in an "Air" kind of way. That means that she's going to have to turn to Gemini Cyndi Lauper for a few style suggestions, or people are going to start calling her crazy.

Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, Jennifer Aniston's chart has been getting hit hard. She's naturally the opposite of Demi, she's an airy Aquarius with Libra Rising with a Sagittarius Moon. But people just want to look at her Cancer Midheaven and it's been getting whomped by the Eclipses this year. Also, although she's pretty easy going and stuff, right now she has a progressed Venus-Saturn conjunction squaring her MC/IC thing. She's sticking with the status quo. Wonder if she's got any business dealings going on right now. Either way, I think that the Uranian shock of getting a new hairdo right now might not feel very safe. And that's what she needs right now. Well, she might be feeling a little old and sad, so that's not good.

Jen's also got a strong conjunction of Jupiter-Uranus-Pluto in her chart right on her South Node and opposing Venus in her chart. Maybe that means that her adoring public wishes that she would be "good old Jennifer Aniston" for them right now. Libra Rising, ick, those guys just go through the ringer with the relationships.

Okay, I'll look up Angelina Jolie and then quit because I have to pee and this whole thing is going to have to be edited (sigh, so boring).

Angelina Jolie. Boy, what a frump. You know what I mean? I mean, do you know what I mean?

She hasn't been looking top form lately. But she's got ten thousand kids to take care of and so in that case she's looking great. Hmmm, I wonder what rules Mom Pants. Could you imagine seeing Angelina Jolie in Mom Pants? That'd be so totally awesome. Wow, another Sun opposite Neptune like Lindsay Lohan. Angelina's a Gemini though with an Aries Moon. Her Ascendant is within the same degree as Jennifer's MC in Cancer. That means some weird shit connecting with Brad Pitt that I won't go in to. (But, it's interesting, MC is the part of you that people will accept. ASC represents your outward appearance and the personality that you will develop during your lifetime (or something like that). I have Sun in late degree Cancer. I'm the real deal. Brad could have had me. Just think.

Anywhoo, where are the rigor spots in Angelina's chart? Oh, well Angelina's progressed Sun is at 25 Cancer so it's been passing through her 12th House. You just need to withdraw from society to recharge sometimes with that going on. She'll be back once it passes over her Ascendant.

Oh, my astrology program is doing that thing that it does and I can't pull up the charts for anyone born between 9 am and 10am. Some hacker doesn't like my Opening Bell Charts or something.

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