Celebrities Who Need Makeovers

Found an article with a list of celebrities who need makeovers and am wondering what might indicate that you're looking a little set in your ways.

Article is here: http://www.beautyriot.com/makeup-beauty/celebrities-need-makeunders-g6941

Will try to hone down what I look for in the charts or I'll be here all day. These guys are all so beautiful no matter what it's just sort of fun for those of us lesser beings to see that they need an up-do. Courteney Cox didn't get a great photo-shop job. Her new suggested styling makes her chin stick out because of it but I sort of like it. The rest look pretty good. Oh yeah, what they did to Jennifer Aniston is pretty bad. The bleached blond thang. I don't see that happening.

Ascendant - physical looks
Sun - Vitality, maybe showing loss of
See if the current t-square on the Cardinal Cross has hit these Celebrities pretty hard, that's enough to let rigor set in.
Venus - cause that what makes you think about wanting to be pretty.
Neptune - has been in conjunction with Chiron which can be debilitating. Neptune rules Film, TV, and that inexplicable allure.
Uranus - because that shows whether you are falling behind in the trends. "The Trends are Your Friends."
and, as usual,
Pluto.
Pluto, Pluto, Pluto. Sex, Death, Taxes, feelings of personal power.

Okay, the list is already too long.

All the article does is give the celebs some ideas for a new haircut so, hate to say it, that's bringing in Mars and Saturn and Leo.

At this point the only thing we've left out are Mercury and Jupiter and from my knitting website obsession it's almost impossible to leave these two out when talking about Style. Because these planets will work to invent a new "It" factor.

Okay so I'm not into all this work. Venus equals fashion, but it also equals laziness. I'm just going to try to look at the charts superficially and blah, blah, blah.

Lindsay Lohan. She's sort of turned the wrong side of Neptune. What used to give her success in film acting has gone in to jail time and drugs. Well, maybe a hair cut is all she really needs. Oops, maybe not. With Venus in Leo she needs Big Hair or she won't feel powerful. On the other hand, maybe she expects to have everything handed to her on a silver platter. Lindsay's progressed Sun has just passed into Leo (about 3 years ago) so she'll going through a big attitude adjustment of sorts. And she needs to keep her mane. She might prefer a leadership role once she sobers up. With Sun in Cancer and Moon in Taurus Lindsay's probably pretty conservative. She will get her act together if she gets married and has kids. Unfortunately, it's a big difficult to put that foot down first whilst in rehab. Or, is it? Princess Diana got married to a Prince and sort of turned the House of Windsor into a prison sentence. We Cancer women, we can make do with so little, after all.

Okay, enough about Lindsay. Oh yeah, Sun opposing Mars and Neptune, a little anger management thing that's hard to get hold of? Got hit big time by the Eclipses this year, so yeah, there's the rigormortus connection. Mars in Capricorn needs to work. Progressed Mercury has gone Rx around 1991-92 in Leo. It will station direct around 2016. She feels like she's faking it.

Demi Moore. Oh she's beautiful but yeah she's got to lay off the straightening iron. Pretty good if you're pushing 50 and that's all the experts can suggest. Another Taurus Moon here. Gorgeous women. Demi's doing the family thing, although it's pretty weird. She's a Scorpio with Sun conjunct Venus Rx and Neptune. So, no wonder the stylists couldn't figure out how to upgrade her too much. But, Scorpio likes to make a change. Scorpio likes the crisis. I remember how my double Scorpio roommate took me out and got me drunk after I got a haircut that made me look like Caligula. Then she told that's why she keeps her hair long.

Demi's got a Jupiter opposition to Uranus-Pluto which has been mirrored in the sky lately, so maybe that's what's making her seem suspended in motion. No big Cardinal Sign problems, except that her Progressed Sun is in stodgy Capricorn. That's not bad for a 50 year old woman, actually it's great. What could be the drag is that her progressed Asc has just switched to Gemini and MC to Aquarius so people are going to respond to her in an "Air" kind of way. That means that she's going to have to turn to Gemini Cyndi Lauper for a few style suggestions, or people are going to start calling her crazy.

Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, Jennifer Aniston's chart has been getting hit hard. She's naturally the opposite of Demi, she's an airy Aquarius with Libra Rising with a Sagittarius Moon. But people just want to look at her Cancer Midheaven and it's been getting whomped by the Eclipses this year. Also, although she's pretty easy going and stuff, right now she has a progressed Venus-Saturn conjunction squaring her MC/IC thing. She's sticking with the status quo. Wonder if she's got any business dealings going on right now. Either way, I think that the Uranian shock of getting a new hairdo right now might not feel very safe. And that's what she needs right now. Well, she might be feeling a little old and sad, so that's not good.

Jen's also got a strong conjunction of Jupiter-Uranus-Pluto in her chart right on her South Node and opposing Venus in her chart. Maybe that means that her adoring public wishes that she would be "good old Jennifer Aniston" for them right now. Libra Rising, ick, those guys just go through the ringer with the relationships.

Okay, I'll look up Angelina Jolie and then quit because I have to pee and this whole thing is going to have to be edited (sigh, so boring).

Angelina Jolie. Boy, what a frump. You know what I mean? I mean, do you know what I mean?

She hasn't been looking top form lately. But she's got ten thousand kids to take care of and so in that case she's looking great. Hmmm, I wonder what rules Mom Pants. Could you imagine seeing Angelina Jolie in Mom Pants? That'd be so totally awesome. Wow, another Sun opposite Neptune like Lindsay Lohan. Angelina's a Gemini though with an Aries Moon. Her Ascendant is within the same degree as Jennifer's MC in Cancer. That means some weird shit connecting with Brad Pitt that I won't go in to. (But, it's interesting, MC is the part of you that people will accept. ASC represents your outward appearance and the personality that you will develop during your lifetime (or something like that). I have Sun in late degree Cancer. I'm the real deal. Brad could have had me. Just think.

Anywhoo, where are the rigor spots in Angelina's chart? Oh, well Angelina's progressed Sun is at 25 Cancer so it's been passing through her 12th House. You just need to withdraw from society to recharge sometimes with that going on. She'll be back once it passes over her Ascendant.

Oh, my astrology program is doing that thing that it does and I can't pull up the charts for anyone born between 9 am and 10am. Some hacker doesn't like my Opening Bell Charts or something.

Pick Me 2010

The Pluto in Scorpio generation is kicking in big time when you start hearing the ugly stories coming from this year's Miss Universe Pageant. What a lovely group of young ladies.

First Miss Philippines flubbed her question. That's always news. They asked Venus Raj to describe a personal flaw and to explain how she overcame it. Miss P. perfunctorily said that she didn't have any flaws, nor had she ever had any flaws. Now that's a Queen. Turns out Venus Raj is a Sun in Cancer and her Sun and Mercury have recently progressed into Leo, the sign of Superiority and Confidence. Hey, she's new at this Queenly stuff, have tolerance. Her prog. Mercury is at 1 degree of that sign so she's entering an extended period of learning how to gracefully fake humility. Actually, Miss Raj has suffered a retrograde Mercury during most of her childhood so communication was probably not something that was shared within her immediate environment. Since she grew up in a Quonset hut with no running water or electricity (according to my memory of the story as told on Wiki), and since she has managed to graduate from College I can see how she probably hasn't had much time to reflect on her flaws. When you jump from one extreme to the other, grass shack to college dorm to Miss Universe at such an early age you don't do it by doubting yourself. Wisdom will come with age. Actually wisdom makes us age. At least she's pretty and enjoying it.

Now there's a new story. Miss Congeniality, Jesinta Campbell of Australia, has come forth with a sabotage story. Ew, nice. This gets nasty. Take a chair, get a glass of water, better yet a beer or vodka-tonic, these women are lethal. Miaou-ou-ou-ou. Made for TV Movie anyone?

It seems that when Jesinta Campbell went to put on her Ball Gown it was stuck with 6 pins. They scratched her back. Yes, the other girls made a human voodoo doll out of Miss Congeniality! I've been noticing that the kids these days are really nasty but this is nuts. Well Miss Congeniality has a Sun-Jupiter conjunction in Leo. Yes, that's a signature of a friendly person which the other gals don't have I might add. But Sun-Jupiter is squaring Pluto in Scorpio. In walks revenge and sabotage. Reality show shit. Scorpio also suffers from extremes of confidence, same as the Sun, but Pluto works from behind the scenes whereas Leo likes the Spotlight thing. Besides all those kids who were born during the Uranus-Neptune in Capricorn generation are coming of age. Donald Trump is going to be making so much money off of their antics. There will be a Murder at the Miss Universe Pageant by the time these guys age out.

Anyway, Miss Congeniality's chart shows an extreme situation with the Retrogrades. That brings on forced bouts of unfloatable introspection into a person's life. She was born with Mercury and Venus conjunct at 6 Virgo. They are both Retrograde. Communication and Loveability are big Question Marks in Miss Congeniality's life. Miss Congeniality's progressed Mercury is just stationing Direct this year on top of her natal Sun-Jupiter. She's speaking her truth about the situation and not cowering in the corner. Good for her. Leo is Courageous and Jupiter seeks Justice. It really is impossible to dislike this woman.

A whole lot of these pageant queens appear to have a hefty showing of inner planets in the earth signs (good bone structure?). There is a chance that 4 out of the top 5 winners has a Taurus Moon. Miss Philippines may have an Aries Moon... The other one of the top five most likely has a Virgo Moon, so also in the earthly category.

The other girls who placed up in the top five have almost no Retrogrades by progression. You definitely wouldn't want to be in a Beauty pageant with that kind of thing weighing you down. Too much introspection and self questioning. The kids your age with Progressed Mercury Rx are all working at McDonalds. And the kids with Progressed Venus Rx are cutting themselves and getting tattoos. (That's a joke, remember Miss Congeniality has both and she came in as 2d runner up. And if Beauty Pageants are anything like other competitions, usually the 1st runner up is more deserving of the win).

Miss Congeniality was asked who she suspects did this awful thing to her. She pointed to the Philippines or the Latin countries. Well, a little corruption and a lot of ambition can be big motives for performing various acts of voodoo.

The Winner was Ximena Nararrete of Mexico. She's a beautiful Pisces. Her progressed Sun is conjunct her natal North Node so she was due for a big win. Congratulations!

And alas Miss U.S.A., Rima Fakih did not place. I'm a Capricorn Moon so all I can think is, Good for her. She has a Sun-Pluto conjunction so I think she's got a bigger fate than the beauty pageant thing. At least, she's probably got a very serious side which wants to make a real difference in the world. And she probably also has a better idea than anybody who put the pins in Miss Australia's chiffon.

I don't know what time the show began. It took place in Las Vegas. There was almost a Full Moon conjunct Neptune and Chiron with an unaspected Mercury Rx. Oh, yeah, and Venus conjunct Mars in Libra. Good circus.

Miss USA -- Oopsy Daisy

The Stock Market hasn't plummeted yet this morning and the Feds are going to try to restrain Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac from doing the same, but .... nothing could hold Miss USA up in the Miss Universe Contest last night. This is the 2d year in a row that Miss USA tripped during the Contest while walking the Evening Gown event. This sounds like a Political Conspiracy. Our Girls don't fall! I had to look at the Astrology as best I am able.

Rex Bills says that Bodily Falls are ruled by Saturn and Capricorn but the Girls' charts don't show any problems from that planet. Bills doesn't list "tripping" which is what Miss USA did on her hem. Bills also doesn't list "Klutz" as you can well imagine. Klumsiness is again attributed to Saturn. Well, if you look as beautiful as these girls do you've got no where to go in life but down. That's Saturnian. I've met a couple of beauty contestants and believe me they are the most ambitious people on Earth. They take these competitions very seriously. That's Saturn.

What I did notice is that that both women have North Node and Mars pretty close together in their charts. Mars just gives you that need to rush in and assert yourself, especially through physical body and force. These girls probably have strength galore and don't have to ask the guys to open their ketchup bottles for them. But Mars is not your classical version of feminine behavior. If these girls were boys they would have crashed a few little red cars by now with all their need for coolness and speed. These women were born to crash in their ball gowns I guess.

Crystle Stewart, Miss USA 2008, has Mars at 12 Leo and North Node (destiny) at 1 Leo. That's too far apart for a conjunction but Leo's magnificent influence might allow for a bigger orb, just because. And USA 2008 has 4 planets in Aries trining the Mars and NN which might produce a translation of light effect.

A more telling aspect might be Stewart's progressed Sun which is conjunct a tight natal conjunction of Mercury to Pluto in her chart. And her prog. Mercury is moving Rx backwards on top of that. Competition would have been a problem for her. Pluto is the upper octave energy of Mars and they both are fiercely competitive but Pluto does it on a much more subtle level. P.Mercury Rx just sort of pulls stunts on your thinking that make you see the world in a different light, either upside down, or from an ant's eye view as in this case.

Rachel Smith, last year's Miss USA 2007, has a genuine conjunction of Mars to North Node in Taurus: Mars 25 Taurus conjunct NN 20 Taurus. Her progressed Sun just happened to be progressing over that at the time of her contest last year. That's reckless. And this opposes Saturn in Scorpio on the other end which makes her a shoe in for a fall. Natal Sun opposite Pluto could also indicate a conspiracy or power "trip" as it were. It seems that some psychological sabotage might part of the competition. The other ladies were giving her the evil eye, I'm sure.

I would like to see the footage of when Miss USA 2007 tacked the crown on to Miss USA 2008. It's a miracle if she didn't hack her head off accidentally with it. Crowns are ruled by Leo, Sun, Venus, Jupiter. I think these girls had contacts of those planets in their charts, they have won the USA title after all.

The Girl who won Miss Universe 2008, Miss Argentina Dayana Mendoza, comes from the country with the cheapest Gasoline in the World. Much easier to walk straight in your Ball Gown if you can afford to work the energy out by crashing in your car first I guess.

Crystle Stewart, Miss USA 2008
b. Sept. 20, 1981 Houston, Texas

Rachel Smith, Miss USA 2007
b. Apr. 18, 1985 Panama

Dayana Mendoza, Miss Universe 2008
b. June 1, 1986 Caracas, Venezuela

Fashion's "Triumvirate"

Audrey, Jackie and Grace. Michael Kors calls them the "Triumvirate" of the Fashion World. An Associated Press Article by Samantha Critchell claims that their beauty will probably never be matched.

I decided to look up their charts to perhaps check out their Ascendants and Venuses and got distracted by the fact that they were all born in 1929. This started to look like an outer planet phenomenon. So, 1929. Bad year for finances, good year for birthing Helen of Troy.

Audrey Hepburn b. May 4, 1929 3:00 am Ixelles, Belgium

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis b. July 28, 1929 2:30 pm Southampton, NY

Grace Kelly b. Nov. 12, 1929 5:31 am Philadelphia, PA

All Three had Sun in a Fixed Sign: Audrey: Taurus, Jackie: Leo, Grace: Scorpio

All Three had Ascendants in a Fixed Sign: Audrey: Aquarius, Jackie: Scorpio, Grace: Scorpio

As for their Moons, these even have similarities: Audrey had Moon in Pisces in H1; Grace had Moon in Pisces in H5; Jackie had Moon in Aries in H5.

I figure I need instead to look at the outer planet transits during 1929. Perhaps this planetary combination could be repeated and repeated and repeated in Laboratory Experiments. It seems maybe there was an excellent formula going down.

The North Node was traveling through Taurus in 1929. Taurus, of course, is a Fixed Sign and it's ruled by Venus the planet of feminine beauty. Both Jackie and Grace had NN conjunct Chiron. Audrey had a stellium in Taurus. Jupiter and Sun conjunct NN with Sun conjunct Chiron. Venus rules both Beauty and Money. What's good for the Fashion World is not always good for the Financial World apparently. But it is interesting that the Market peeked out out this time and wasn't matched in value until the mid-1940's.

Also, during this year there was a square between Uranus in Aries and Pluto in Cancer that both Audrey and Jackie had, it had moved out of orb by the time Grace was born in November. But these two planets ruled all three of the women's Charts. Uranus and Pluto would have passed over their Neptunes during the late 50's, early to mid 60's when they achieved their fame and Neptune is set very prominently in their charts. Pluto, Uranus and even Jupiter later went into conjunction in Virgo in the later 60's. Virgo is the sign of the Virgin and also seems to account for the simple, understated elegance of these women. (The Hippies of this time all mostly had both Pluto and Uranus in Leo and were expressing the Virgo energy in the exact opposite way, a reaction against all tradition.)

In addition to the Fixed Emphasis (stability, unchanging), Neptune seems to have really sealed the deal for them. It passed from Leo to Virgo during 1929 so it was at 29 Leo when Audrey was born and in early Virgo when both Jackie and Grace were born. Neptune was placed Angular in all 3 of the Women's charts, in H10 for Jackie and Grace and on the Descendant of Audrey's chart. Neptune rules Glamour, elusiveness, and also Film.

As for their Venus aspects, all three have Venus in aspect to Saturn which may account for the Timeless quality of their appearance. Refined, elegant, serious.

Audrey: Venus in Aries, H1, square Pluto and Mars in H5; Trine Saturn.

Jackie: Venus in Gemini, H8, sextile Moon, square Mars, opposite Saturn

Grace: Venus in Libra, H12, conjunct ASC, sextile Saturn.