Girls Gone Wild

What if Jon Benet had been allowed to grow up? This week we have a Major Scandal in the Beauty Pageant World. Apparently Miss USA and Miss Teen USA have been holed up in New York with nothing to do except party on the table tops of all the bars. They've gone wild! Booze! Cocaine! Madonna-Brittany kissing scenes!

And Donald Trump forgave them. He gave Miss USA a Drug Test (how humiliating in the first place) and she failed it. Then kicked her out of Trump Towers for sneaking men into her room. First ya tell her she's the most beautiful woman in the World 2006, then you tell her she can't have any. How mean.

And now, he's forgiven her... This is the "You're Fired" Guy.

Man, she's lucky. What's her sign?

Course, only a Sagg can get away with this. Not only is Tara Conner a Sagg but she's got five planets (Saturn, Mercury, Uranus, Venus, Sun) in Sagittarius. And her Sagg Sun is conjunct her Neptune in Capricorn. Of course, she's gonna fail (Neptune,Saturn) a drug (Neptune, Sagg) test (Saturn). And her chart was set off by the equal amount of Planets in Sagittarius last week, not the least of which was Pluto-Sun on her natal Sun.

Hey Tara, 2d Chances to put back on yer underpantses. I wonder if Jupiter in Sagittarius is going to be like this all year.

Problem is, now she's got Miss Teen USA into trouble. She might even be a little bit of trouble herself.

Natally, Katie Blair is stuck with Uranus-Saturn-Neptune in Capricorn squaring her North Node in Pisces. That's a disruptive combination in a pushy sign that's messing with a fairly delicate life plan. Aries Sun, Libra Moon, she'll go along with just about anything. She's as pretty as Miss USA but I wouldn't take her with me to Vegas. And the Sun-Pluto conjunction were also squaring her Nodes last week. Her Life Path is a bit more complicated than Miss USA's it seems. If she makes a mess, she's got to clean it up. For some reason, the MADD mothers are on her case. Miss USA has been absolved but Miss Teen USA has the furies at her back, the MADD mommies, no co-dependent behavior from women who have lost their children to drunk drivers.

This is too much. I need a beer.

Tara Conner, Miss USA 2006
Dec. 18, 1985 Russell Springs, KY

Katie Blair, Miss Teen USA 2006
Apr. 2, 1988 Billings, Montana